
Welcome
Paranoia Diaries, an honest window into my mind where reality blurs, thoughts race, and I search for meaning in the madness.
Paranoia Diaries, an honest window into my mind where reality blurs, thoughts race, and I search for meaning in the madness.
“I am not a hallucination. I am not a delusion. I am not schizophrenia. I have schizophrenia, and I’m a human being.”
~ Cecilia McGough
I’ve lived with paranoid schizophrenia since the age of five — a reality that shaped my world before I even had the words to explain it. The early years were filled with confusion, fear, and isolation, as I tried to make sense of a mind that often felt like it was working against me. But through countless challenges, misdiagnoses, and mo
I’ve lived with paranoid schizophrenia since the age of five — a reality that shaped my world before I even had the words to explain it. The early years were filled with confusion, fear, and isolation, as I tried to make sense of a mind that often felt like it was working against me. But through countless challenges, misdiagnoses, and moments of darkness, I held on.
I was eventually diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, a condition that would come to define much of my life — but not in the way most people might think. While the diagnosis helped explain what I was experiencing, it also came with stigma, misunderstanding, and the burden of being labeled. For years, I struggled with shame, denial, and a deep desire to hide what I was going through. But even in the darkest moments, a small part of me refused to give up. I wanted to live. I wanted to understand myself. I wanted to feel free.
The road to stability and self-acceptance has not been linear. It’s been filled with hospitalizations, misdiagnoses, medication changes, therapy, relapses, and countless days where simply surviving felt like a victory. But through all of it, I kept coming back to something powerful: words. Writing became my outlet — my way of translating what I couldn’t always say out loud. Through storytelling and poetry, I’ve been able to make sense of my experiences, express emotions I once had no name for, and connect with others who live with similar struggles.
Now, I write to share my truth — not just the pain, but also the progress. I write for those who live in silence, who feel misunderstood, and who are told their illness defines them. I write to shatter the myths about schizophrenia, to show that people like me can live full, creative, meaningful lives. Yes, I have schizophrenia — but I am not my diagnosis. I am a survivor, a writer, a storyteller, and a human being.
My goal is to bring light into the darkness, to offer honesty where there’s been fear, and to show that recovery is possible — even if it doesn’t look perfect. Whether through deeply personal reflections or raw, emotional poetry, I want to open up conversations about mental illness, healing, and identity. This is more than my story — it’s a message of resilience, hope, and the power of owning your truth.
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